Define Your Relationship
One of the first things you should do with your long-distance sweetheart is to agree on what the relationship will be going forward: Are you going to be just friends? Intimately connected when it’s convenient? Or does this have the makings of a real and solid love affair?
Don’t harbor resentment
If your partner is the one who had to move, don’t let resentment build in you, because it will eventually explode. If you are angry with him or her for leaving, talk it out. Your partner deserves to know how you feel, and if the relationship has a hope of survival, you must be open and honest with one another.
Establish the relationship rules and parameters
It is vital that you and your partner set rules and parameters to guide your long distance relationship. This includes an agreement that you will not date others, that you will communicate daily, and that you’ll see each other at least once every 2-3 months in person.
Don’t raise your expectations
Just because your partner is moving away doesn’t mean that you should raise your expectations of him or her. Refrain from requesting the impossible, such as a flight to their town every weekend. Don’t expect major gifts every time you see one another, and don’t require him or her to go out of their way to please you. This will only work if you are both willing to compromise.
Keep the relationship a high priority
Keep the relationship a high priority. Avoid canceling reunions or putting off a phone call.
You just have to believe in your partner that he or she would do the right thing. Trust becomes doubly important when he or she is in a faraway land. Don’t allow yourself to drown in a sea of uncertainty every night, thinking about his or her treacherous tendencies. You have to believe in him or her. Without trust, a relationship would easily crumble.
Just because your partner is many miles away, such shouldn’t mean that you could start being dishonest. Honesty begins with you. Share with your partner the events of your day. Tell him or her about your thoughts and ideas about certain matters. Never embellish your stories, nor should you deliberately leave out important details.
Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of an LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives.
Make extra efforts to be reliable
Make extra efforts to be reliable, to do what you say you are going to do. Say ‘I love you’ often, to make up for the fact that you can’t show affection face-to-face.
One of the pitfalls in long-distance relationships is keep waiting. So, keep your patience about all the facts you have and face in your relation.
Keep yourself busy
Find things to do here at home to occupy your time. If your career or your children do not keep you busy enough, get involved in some volunteer work or maybe go back to school. It is the key for not being bored and missing the other person.
Avoid the temptation to be controlling
People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep
When you are first parting, it is easy to make promises that are not feasible because the rush of emotions is so strong. “I’ll write every day” and “I’ll fly up there twice a month” may not be realistic goals, and will eventually crumble the relationship.
Generally speaking, communicating openly with your partner about your life will allow you to find out if the other person is truly committed to you physically as well as personally.
Discuss sensitive issues
You must be willing to discuss more sensitive issues, too, like your sex life. If this relationship is to really hold its ground, talking openly and honestly about your sexual needs is one of the biggest keys to success.
Keep the communication channels open
A decade ago, long distance relationships suffered because of the dearth of communication channels. Now there are many sufficient communication tools available that you can use to communicate with your partner.
schedule a routine time to call
Schedule a routine time to call, and focus entirely on your partner during the conversation. As this becomes routine, you’ll find yourself looking forward to your time together – just like in a face-to-face date.
Set up phone dates and take them as seriously as physical dates
Every relationship depends on communication, and long-distance ones can’t exist without it. For most couples, this comes down to phone conversations, which can be much trickier than face-to-face ones.
Smile over the phone
It’s also a good idea to “smile over the phone” as much as possible. A good mood from you on days when your partner may be feeling especially needy can make both of you feel better.
Keep your partner informed about your life
Keep your partner informed about your life. You may live separately, but sharing information about your activities and friends is still important.
Find something your partner is passionate about that you can get involved with. For example, maybe your partner really loves tennis and you’ve never played tennis. Start taking tennis lessons and discuss it with your partner. Find passions that you both can share and it will invigorate your feelings and appreciation for the relationship.
Talk about your future together
Assuming that ultimately you’d want to live together, discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.
While talking over phone and even in letters and mail you write to your partner discuss the fact, task, and hobby and give encouragement about those to your partner.
Express Your Feelings
One of the ways it increases your relationship stability. When you express your feelings, you are letting your partner know that you are committed to making the relationship work.
Send e-mail *and* letters
E-mail might be the greatest thing to happen to long-distance relationships since the phone, but your relationship probably deserves more than fast food correspondence. True romantics – and if you are in a long-distance relationship, that group includes you – know the value of something with a more permanent feel.
Plan reunions to keep both of you pleased about the relationship. If your partner needs closeness, set up plans to meet often. Having a date to look forward to can help you through the rough times.
Set a date for your actual meeting
There will come a time when he or she has to move in with you, or vice versa. Set a specific date for such an occasion. Make this your goal. This would give you something to look forward to, and it would help you deal with the loneliness that may be caused by excessive yearning for the person you hold dear in your heart.
Spend Time Together While Apart
Even though your partner may live hours away, you can still experience “date nights” with him/her. For example, let’s say you are both interested in seeing the latest blockbuster movie. Plan to go at the exact same time (coordinate your time zones) to see the movie.
Do something special for each other
Just because you’re miles apart doesn’t mean that you’re left with no recourse but to keep your affections in check. You could express those affections in a variety of ways. Send a video or an audio package which the other can listen to during those lonely spells. Buy him or her a shirt or an item that would always remind him or her of you.
Surprise them with small, personal, and loving gifts
The key here is not to impress your partner with your purchasing power. After all, if money were truly no object, you’d fly to their side in your private jet. Rather, the goal is to remind your partner of your true feelings toward them, and the greatness that these feelings inspire in you.
Send Care Packages
Every once in awhile prepare and send your long distance relationship partner a “care package”. Could be Books, Phone Card, Hershey’s Hugs, Music, Video Message, Hershey’s Kisses, Puzzle, Sweets, Real Rose, Card, Stuffed Animal, “Preserved” Rose and so on.
You often hear people say, “I love surprises.” Surprises are fun because they are unexpected and show how thoughtful/fun a person is. Think of things you can do that will “surprise” your partner.
You probably have better things to do than to keep the score
Every relationship is work, but in the long distance variety, the work is easily quantified. If you find yourself constantly comparing your efforts to your partner’s, you are setting up a game that no one can win. Anything that you do in this relationship should be as much for your benefit as your partner’s.
Don’t fall for the Honeymoon Syndrome
Remember that in this kind of relationship “everything” is magnified and multiplied. If you seriously want to move your relationship to the next stage, you will need to be together for an extended span of time, and see how you do once the honeymoon is over.
Never Make Assumptions
Always be clear about your relationship with each other. Don’t assume that your long-distance partner knows your feelings – share them. Good or bad, be clear about how you feel about the relationship. Assumptions kill many relationships, while clear communication helps relationships succeed.
Calculate the Odds
Keep in mind that the odds of a successful long-distance relationship are more in your favor if you’ve been dating for a significant amount of time before a physical separation occurs.